Can we just take a moment and try and fathom the thought that it is 17 months to the day I have been on my mission?? Holy crap are the only words that come to my mind. Like HOLYYYY CRAP!!! Time flies when you are doing it the Lord's way that's for sure!! It has definitely been the best 17 months of my life and this week I have been thinking A LOT about those 17 months and all things that have brought me to this point today.
I remember coming out here 17 months ago with this crazy fire that I was gonna baptize everyone and their dog and that all that I had to do was teach them those five basic lessons and they would be ready. That's how it works right?? Ohhhh boiiii... Was I soooo wrong. God humbled me soooo fast. He quickly made me realize that missionary work isn't easy in any way, shape, or form.
For the longest time it was very frustrating to me. I was obedient, I was studying hard, I was going hard in the paint you could say:) but why wasn't I seeing the results? Why wasn't I seeing the fruits of my labors? I saw other missionaries and friends having those amazing baptism stories why wasn't I experiencing the same thing? Literally for months this weighed on me, not gonna lie it sometimes still bothers me today but there is a well known talk by Jeffrey Holland for missionaries that says "Missionary work is not easy, because salvation is not a cheap experience." That statement has carried me in more ways then I could ever possibly imagine.
Months passed, still frustrated, many pleading prayers were said, and still not the "success" I was expecting was happening. I remember about six months ago I was under the weather and our ward mission leader gave me a blessing and in that blessing he talked a lot about hope. In that moment I remember thinking why the crap are you telling me to have hope when I have a sinus infection?? But it wasn't until later that I realized it was that hope that I so desperately needed.
So what did I start doing? I started hoping. Started hoping for the best, hoping with the eternal perspective in mind and to have that gratitude even for the small things in life. I realized that that single strand of hope I had was a very powerful thing. So powerful that it truly was my driving force for a long time and still is today.
This past week I saw and realized why I had hope for so long. THREE people in my past area were baptized this past week. God truly was listening to my prayers all this time. Three separate people that I found and taught entered into that sacred and holy covenant of baptism. Three people that I hoped for so much gave me the greatest hope of all.
Wade... A single guy who just got out of rehab and was earnestly seeking for God in his life came across us when we were talking to his mom. I remember his exact words after we taught him the first lesson "Y'all are angels, sent here to show me the way." He gave me that hope that God really does put His servants in the path of those seeking for the goodness of the gospel.
Eibar... My Panama friend who was prepared the moment we met him. Teaching him in the most simplest way for him to understand the gospel in English, but letting the Spirit take over and seeing the light of Christ beaming through that guy's eyes. I will forever curse my non Spanish speaking skills over that one... But I am convinced he will be an apostle one day. Just you wait. He gave me that hope that it's not always about what I say or how I say it but that the way the Spirit speaks through me and into the hearts of God's children.
Tina.. I mean come on the lady referred herself pretty much so my hope was beaming through that one!! But she came at a really hard time for me in Albany when the work, life, and everything was just kinda not the best for me. After teaching her several times and helping her move I kinda just had to have that hope that she would find the gospel and let it take hold of her life. Getting a text from the St. Louis, Missouri letting me know she is getting baptized gave me the hope that God never gives up on His people and that He often times sends certain people into your life to let you know that He is aware of you and the pleadings in your heart.
Hope truly does help conquer discouragement. Hope is that one size fits all. Hope is the physician to each misery. Hope is the anchor for the soul, the sail for our dreams, and the balms of our pains. Hope has carried me and continues to carry me today. I am grateful for the past 17 months of hope that I have been given. That God loved me enough to strip me of a lot of pride and to humble me, making me realize that I am simply just an instrument in His work. But how great it is to be an instrument in His work, in His way, and in His time.
In D&C 18:15 it says "And if it so be that you should labor all your days in crying repentance unto this people, and bring, save it be one soul unto me, how great shall be your joy with him in the kingdom of my Father!" I don't think there is a more perfect scripture to describe my feelings then this. The hope and the happiness that this week had given me will never be able to be described. I love the Lord. I love this work. I love Louisiana. But last of all, I love y'all and the hope and the strength that you are and forever will continue to give me.
Ma Boiii J-Holland says it best "Hold on. Hope on. Fan the flame of your faith for all things are possible to them that believe." Love y'all and HOPE y'all have the best week and a happy happy Fourth :)
If any of you are considering giving me anything I am currently addicted to pretzel bites and these pineapple popsicles... Diet of a queen I know
Late night walks in humidity... badddd idea!!! My hair was straight before this.. But a fuuuunnnn night:)
You got a possum issue?? The Luling missionaries can help hahahaha:)
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